Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Chapter 47: The Dead
“…Give me your birthdate first, and I’ll help you with the rest of the formalities.”
Evil being: “?”
Xiao Wu: “???”
Wu Jiayi was dumbfounded.
It had been ten years since he came into contact with the ghost master business. Xiao Wu was born as a Nightwalker and had seen all kinds of messy ghost contracts. However, no matter how unorthodox things were, the principle was still the same…
Ghost contracts had at least three steps.
First, the person must choose a dark time of the night and successfully communicate with the ghost to make sure the other party wasn’t malicious. If the ghost didn’t resent the ghost master, then they could proceed to the next step.
The second step was to prepare a talisman frame. The frame of the talisman must be made of high-quality acacia wood, roughly split into strips, and tied into a human shape. The ghost master must personally make all 108 charms by hand, list the rules on them, and then sing them step by step before pasting them in order onto the talisman frame.
The third step was the most critical. If the evil spirit hadn’t regretted it by this point, the ghost master would take the ghost’s ba-zi, determine their birthdate, and use his own blood to make a talisman seal. Finally, they would ignite the talisman frame above good incense. If the talisman frame could be burned, then the ghost contract would be completed.
After the ghost contract was completed, the ghost could leave their place of death. The ghost master would bear the ghost in his body.
Considering their limited ability to withstand, most ghost masters were quite cautious. They would never casually recruit ghosts, especially newly dead ghosts who were still delirious.
…So what was this guy doing?
It was barely “dark” due to the overcast and could barely fulfill the “no malice” condition, and Yin Ren didn’t even have any preparations to do the rest of the procedure. How was he going to take Lu Tanfei away? Lie to the ghost?
Xiao Wu had read his information from Shian. Didn’t Yin Ren accept Hu Tao from Ping’An Manor? How could he still make such a rookie mistake like this?
“Xiao—Xiao Yin, fierce ghosts don’t like it when you fool around with them so casually.” Wu Jiayi took a breath and put his hand on the charm in his pocket. “Newly dead ghosts are different from old ghosts. That Hu Tao is an old acquaintance of Shian. Lu Tanfei won’t give us face—”
Yin Ren smiled at him and took out a piece of yellow paper from his pocket.
“Come on. You can just tell me, and I’ll write it down.”
The six eyes of the evil thing looked at him without blinking and said in an eager tone, “Do you want to help me find Yuanyuan? Can you find Yuanyuan?”
“Don’t agree!” Wu Jiayi shouted as he was drenched in cold sweat.
“Yes, I’ll help you find him.”
Yin Ren patted Wu Jiayi soothingly while his eyes were still fixed on the ghastly evil being.
“People don’t just disappear into thin air, old man. I’ll do my best to help you find him. If you think I’m unreliable, then you can always leave… Now that you have so many extra legs, it’s such a waste for you not to go out and walk around.”
The evil thing looked at him in silence. His thin and deformed legs moved like insects’ legs. Ten seconds later, the old man reported his birthday in a hoarse voice.
“Very good. I need you to enter a little evil qi. Just press the fingerprint button.”
The evil thing stretched out its slender hand, and his fingertips clicked on the yellow paper with words written on it. Where his fingertips touched, the paper was pockmarked with a corrosive-like texture.
Yin Ren didn’t mind and lit the yellow paper on the spot.
Xiao Wu gulped. He was deeply regretting it at this moment. If he knew this newcomer was so reckless, he should have brought his food delivery box with him. Well, it should be fine. This person didn’t even make a talisman frame…
“It’s okay. Wu Ge, look.”
The yellow paper burned cleanly. Yin Ren finally moved his gaze away from the evil thing. He quickly took out his phone and shook it at Wu Jiayi.
In the internal group “What to Eat Today”, several new messages quickly surfaced.
[Lu Tanfei: ?]
[Hu Tao: ?]
[Lu Tanfei: ???]
[Hu Tao: !!! 🍉*]
*It’s actually eating melon emoji.
Wu Jiayi: “……”
He hesitated to speak and looked at Yin Ren, then at the phone screen.
Wu Jiayi: “You, are you…”
“The essence of ghost contracts is rules and consensus. This thing can be slowly read after the fact, just like how living people don’t read user agreements when they register for things.”
Yin Ren’s tone was relaxed.
“This phone is a spirit weapon given to me by Shian. It just happens to be able to make ghost apps, so I customized one. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to do these things.”
Xiao Wu breathed a sigh of relief. “So it’s the function of a spirit weapon. Then that’s fine. What a fortuitous encounter.”
In this way, this person simplified the most troublesome step of inviting ghosts, but the essence of the process hadn’t changed.
“I don’t understand these things very well. As a layman… Wu Ge, there won’t be any problems, right?” The 1,000-year-old Ghost King sincerely added.
Wu Jiayi looked at Lu Tanfei’s six puzzled eyes and pushed Yin Ren lightly. “Kid, you really dared! The old rules aren’t open to change. Are you not afraid of death?”
“If you want to do this in the future, ask the big guys in Shian.” Xiao Wu warned with lingering fear. “A newborn calf that isn’t afraid of tigers*…”
*(初生牛犊不怕虎哦) Idiom referring to young people who have little worries in their mind and dare to act.
“Understood,” Yin Ren said solemnly.
But he would definitely dare next time.
With the ghost contract concluded, Wu Jiayi had no need to protect the two of them, so he left first. Suddenly there was only one person and two ghosts left in the small room.
Lord Ghost King happily sat down by the bed and started typing.
[Yin Ren: Welcoming Elder Lu who’s temporarily joining us! Grandpa Lu, this is so I can take you out 🥰]
[Yin Red: @Lu Tanfei, Just say whatever’s on your mind.]
[Lu Tanfei: ……]
[Lu Tanfei: I see. Sorry, I’m not used to this.]
[Yin Ren: @Hu Tao, this is a newly added member, Grandpa Lu, Lu Yuanyuan’s grandfather. You should have heard of him.]
Miss Hu Tao had brushed on enough drama and news, so she was quite well-informed. Sure enough, Hu Tao’s attitude immediately improved.
[Hu Tao: It turns out you’re a new ghost. Haha, I guess I’ll have to call you Ge according to your age.]
[Hu Tao: Lu Ge, feel free to ask me anything you don’t understand.]
[Lu Tanfei: Okay.]
[Yin Ren: ……]
[Yin Ren: Grandpa Lu, I’m busy here too.]
[Hu Tao: 🤔 🤔]
Yin Ren didn’t wait for her response and decisively closed the app. The human spider evil thing was quietly huddled in the corner, obviously still adapting to this new way of communication.
Yin Ren stood in front of him, carefully separated a trace of evil qi, and pointed it at the monstrous body. He murmured something softly, causing the twisted and thin body to gradually straighten and stretch. The wrinkled, dead skin turned into clothes.
Half a minute passed, and there was no longer an evil thing in the corner but an old man.
Lu Tanfei stood in the corner blankly. He was wearing a formal gray-blue shirt. His white hair was neatly combed, and he wore thick reading glasses that hung on the bridge of his nose. Flesh and blood were added to his skeleton-like thinness, giving him a scholarly look. Lu Tanfei stood in the night, like a bamboo plant in the late autumn.
“You can change into your former appearance, which makes it easier to communicate with people,” Yin Ren said softly. “Remember this feeling. Just ask Hu Tao next. She has a lot of experience in this.”
Lu Tanfei opened his mouth but couldn’t make a sound. He stared at the empty room for a while, then habitually took off his glasses and wiped away non-existent tears.
“I thought it was a dream.” He sighed. “It would be nice if it were all a dream…”
Yin Ren: “Just give yourself some time. We’ll go to the Public Security Bureau tomorrow, and I’ll find you then.”
“Ah, okay… okay.”
“Finished?” Seeing Yin Ren get up, Zhong Chengshuo spoke.
“Nn, I’m done. We’ll call this a day. Zhong Ge, call us a taxi.” Yin Ren stretched out his waist and joked, “…Speaking of which, since you can’t see Elder Lu, do you think Wu Ge and I are weird?”
“Okay.” Zhong Chengshuo quickly called a taxi and nodded towards the empty corner of the wall. “Mr. Lu, good night. See you tomorrow.”
At this moment, Lu Tanfei had already walked to the window. Seeing Zhong Chengshuo greet the empty corner, the old man was stunned.
Yin Ren: “…Pfft.”
Zhong Chengshuo turned his head suspiciously.
“Nothing. Grandpa Lu is just saying goodbye to you.”
After their all-nighter, they still had work as usual, but in the afternoon. Zhong Chengshuo struggled to take a shower after returning and didn’t go to bed until around 4. Yin Ren was in good spirits. He got up on time at 7 a.m. and opened the refrigerator to find food.
He would be fine if he didn’t sleep, but he would miss a meal if he were to sleep. Lord Ghost King’s calculations were very clear.
Yin Ren hummed a little tune as he toasted his bread and fried up some eggs. He cut the beef into thin slices and fried it up in butter. While checking the recipe in the video, he whipped avocado and hard-boiled eggs into a sauce.
Zhong Chengshuo was still sleeping, so Yin Ren didn’t mind using a little magic to skim all the milk skin from the yogurt back into the milk carton.
“You’re adapting quickly.” Watching Yin Ren grind black pepper, Hu Tao snorted and floated in the kitchen with great interest.
“I just have amnesia, not dementia.” Yin Ren tried a mouthful of the avocado egg sauce with satisfaction. “These utensils aren’t difficult to use. Even children can get it right.”
“Mm-hmm, you have amnesia.” Hu Tao changed her floating posture and floated upside down above Yin Ren, as if she were snorkeling in an invisible sea.
“If you want to eat, I’ll give you some later.”
“Forget it. You might as well give it to the old man… Who knows how long it has been since he had a proper meal, that poor man.” Hu Tao shook her head. “But it’s okay. There hasn’t been such a ghost in Haigu in a long time, so now I have someone to talk to.”
Her evil qi was too heavy, and she didn’t know anything about the metaphysical world, so the ghost masters didn’t really want to accept her. It was only a mysterious “rookie” like Yin Ren who would dare make a contract with her, which was why Hu Tao hadn’t seen someone who was “communicable” in a long time.
She really hoped Lu Tanfei would stay for much longer.
Yin Ren hummed. “The old man may not be used to this kind of food. I’ll give him porridge with tea eggs later.”
With a ding, the bread popped out of the toaster. The surface was crisp and browned, and the unique aroma of baking filled the kitchen. Yin Ren applied a thick sauce to the bread and layered it with meat, eggs, cheese, and vegetables—this dish didn’t require much actual heat, so he was confident he could make it well.
The plate full of sandwiches was steaming. Melted cheese seeped into the tender red fried meat slices, and the smell of fat and spices tickled his heart.
Zhong Chengshuo’s door creaked open.
The person’s eyes weren’t fully opened as he swayed to the refrigerator like a ghost. After opening the refrigerator door, Zhong Chengshuo blindly grabbed several times at the place where the bread was placed but found nothing.
Then he raised his eyelids and swept his gaze towards the empty position.
“Hey, I thought you didn’t eat breakfast, so I used it all.”
Yin Ren glanced at the time and was a little shocked. It was a little before 7:20. Zhong Chengshuo hadn’t slept for even four hours yet.
Was this the power of the biological clock? He couldn’t help being in awe of “science”.
“I was going to buy a fresh one after work,” seeing Zhong Chengshuo’s accusatory expression, Yin Ren hurriedly added. “Do you want to eat a beef sandwich? I just finished making them.”
Zhong Chengshuo looked at the sandwich on Yin Ren’s plate for a moment, and his gaze paused on the melted cheese for two seconds.
“Eat, thank you,” he muttered. “One is enough.”
Yin Ren took one from the wobbly mountain of sandwiches, served it with yogurt, and made a separate portion. Zhong Chengshuo was still wearing his nightcap, which swayed from side to side as if he were about to knock his head on the table.
Even if this person was sleepy like this, Yin Ren still smelled the fresh smell of mint toothpaste on him.
“Why bother?” Yin Ren pushed the sandwich plate towards him. “You even got up and brushed your teeth. It won’t hurt to sleep a little longer.”
Zhong Chengshuo answered him in a series of dream-like responses. Yin Ren barely made out short sentences such as “cavities prevention” and “regular three meals a day”. Zhong Chengshuo was muttering and forgot that he was still slowly stuffing his sandwich as his eyes were about to close again.
Not afraid of choking to death. Yin Ren shook his head.
Yin Ren took a bite of his sandwich. The bread was crispy, and the aroma of beef instantly exploded in his mouth. It was the first time he ate avocado that was served with a salad dressing and black pepper. The taste was fresh and refreshing.
Opposite him, Zhong Chengshuo’s eyes were bleary. He had completely lost his previous sober and sharp temperament.
…It’s really suitable for casually teasing. No, let’s test it out.
“Hey Zhong Ge, is the sandwich delicious?” Yin Ren asked while chewing.
“Next time, I plan to add ghost peppers. What do you think?”
“A long pink dress really fits Minister Fu.”
“Do you know ‘King Yama’ of the Nightwalkers?”
“…” Zhong Chengshuo propped up his eyelids and ate the last bite of his sandwich. “I don’t. Why do you ask?”
“It’s nothing. When I was teasing that Old Dog Peng, I felt you were quite in line with the characteristics of ‘King Yama’.”
Yin Ren grinned at Zhong Chengshuo and picked up another sandwich.
“Next time, I’ll ask ‘do you know the boss of Sunken Society’. Be prepared.”
“…Nn.” Zhong Chengshuo wiped his mouth and went back to the bedroom like a zombie. With a bang, the wooden door was tightly closed again.
Inside, Zhong Chengshuo hesitated for a few seconds in front of the wardrobe containing the Evil Fruit. When he finished hesitating, he didn’t open the wardrobe but yawned wildly and fell back to the center of the big bed.
In the afternoon, Haigu, Public Security Bureau.
After 8 hours of full sleep, Zhong Chengshuo’s spirits were much better. However, the consequences of staying up late still lingered. Comrade Xiao Zhong’s face was stiff and looked a little sullen.
Yin Ren, though, still had a look full of vitality.
After interrogating Lu Guangzu for a day, they were finally going to intervene in the case as “security personnel”.
There was no one in the interrogation room. Yin Ren and Zhong Chengshuo stopped just outside. Through the one-way glass, they could clearly see the interior. Stubble appeared on Lu Guangzu’s face, and he collapsed on the chair like an octopus in an indifferent posture.
It was Sun Qinghui who greeted them. Officer Sun frowned, and his body smelled like tea.
Sun Qinghui: “Do you have any clues? We sorted out information on missing people and tried a round of testing, but this kid is very stubborn, so it’s difficult to get through him.”
“We sort of have a clue,” Yin Ren said.
Coffin Nail, “What to Eat Today” internal group.
[Yin Ren: @Lu Tanfei, Grandpa Lu, come and look. Does this person have the smell of Yuanyuan on him?]
Within two seconds after he was sent out, the temperature outside the interrogation room plummeted.
The thin old man quickly appeared beside Yin Ren, staring into the room with his eyes closed. His lips opened slightly, exhaling murky black air.
The ghost had limited influence on science posts. Zhong Chengshuo was fine, while Sun Qinghui just had goosebumps. Inside the interrogation room, Lu Guangzu couldn’t sit still anymore. He quickly shrank up, and his lips turned blue.
[Yin Ren: How about it? Any clues?]
However, Lu Tanfei didn’t respond to him.
Evil things were always sensitive to those with karma.
The old man trembled in place. His mouth, nose, and hair twisted into flesh, and his six human eyes appeared on his face again. His joints made a chilling creaking sound, and his skeleton-like feet protruded out.
Ten seconds later, a twisted human spider lay down on the glass, screaming silently.
A hoarse and sharp voice spat out from the mouth of the evil thing as poisonous evil qi flowed down the one-way glass.
“Yuanyuan! Yuanyuan come home!” The six eyes became bloodshot, and they turned in different directions. “Why wasn’t grandpa the one who disappeared? Why wasn’t it me?!”
[Yin Ren: @Hu Tao, do me a favor and comfort the old man.]
In the next moment, the figure of a young girl appeared behind Yin Ren. She first looked around with interest for a while and was then startled by the crazy spider.
“Shh—shh—Lu Ge, it’s okay, Lu Ge.” She hurriedly floated forward and comforted the old man’s ghostly spirit. “This is the police station. Everyone has been caught. The police will definitely be able to solve it… Let’s not worry, ah.”
As a cooperative unit of Shian, the one-way glass here was specially made. The human spider’s hands and feet pounded desperately on the glass but failed to destroy it. Seeing his attack was ineffective, the evil thing gradually fell to the ground. His body trembled, and he let out intermittent cries.
Hu Tao patted the old man’s twisted back and nodded to Yin Ren.
“I’ll take him home first to calm him down.”
She snapped her finger, causing black smoke to rise, and the figures of the two ghosts disappeared in an instant.
Yin Ren pulled on Zhong Chengshuo. “Lu Yuanyuan’s disappearance is related to this person. Let’s go, Zhong Ge.”
Zhong Chengshuo stepped forward, took a deep breath, and turned on the microphone.
“I’m Zhong Chengshuo from Unit 9 of Shian’s Special Investigation Group, science post, field department. Lu Guangzu, Lu Yuanyuan’s disappearance is related to you.”
He spoke in a very affirmative tone.
Hearing the words Shian, Lu Guangzu reflexively jolted, but he quickly steadied himself and put on the appearance of a dead pig that wasn’t afraid of boiling water*.
*(死猪不怕开水烫) Idiom referring to someone who’s thick-skinned, rogue-like, domineering and unscrupulous.
“Yes. You guys are quite capable, huh?”
Lu Guangzu squeezed out a smile at the empty interrogation room. His tone was full of arrogance.
“Lu Yuanyuan was the first person I killed. A 9-year-old isn’t that big. Are you sure you want to start with him? Hey, why don’t you beg me more and put my reputation…”
Zhong Chengshuo decisively cut off the communication, leaving Lu Guangzu to provoke the air.
“New clue,” Zhong Chengshuo said. “Hang him here for a while longer.”
Sun Qinghui nodded in agreement. “Very good. Let’s go through the information again immediately.”
Yin Ren: “……What? What new clue?”
Sun Qinghui gave a tired smile. “It’s almost time to get off work. Let’s talk while eating. How about you guys just come to my place to eat?”
Officer Sun’s home was similar to that of Zhong Chengshuo’s parents. His residence had a slightly larger room, with many miscellaneous items and fishing gear placed around the edges. The living room had a photo wall, which was filled with a series of photos of a girl from kindergarten to doctoral graduation.
The protagonist of the photos was sitting at the dining table with a helpless smile on her face.
“Sun Qi’an.” The young girl stood up and introduced herself.
The girl was wearing a long-printed skirt. Her hair fell just above her clavicle, and the tips of it were slightly curled. Her brows were small and delicate, looking a bit like the ladies in ancient paintings.
“I have heard so much about you, King Zhong, from the Department of Biology at A University.” The girl smiled. “B University, one year above you. I have admired you for a long time.”
“Ah, you’re the senior sister, the Medicine King of B University.” Zhong Chengshuo recalled for a few seconds before replying.
“Hey, that’s just their label for me,” Sun Qi’an smiled softly. “I saw you guys in the hospital some time ago when I went to the department of cardiology at the municipal hospital.”
Seeing that the young people were getting along, Officer Sun entered the kitchen with satisfaction to make room in the dining room.
Just after her father left, Dr. Sun scratched her hair vigorously, and her quiet demeanor disappeared without a trace.
“I just came back for dinner.” She slapped her forehead. “Ugh, how come I still can’t escape…”
“Escape what?” Yin Ren interjected curiously.
Dr. Sun looked at him for a while before replying, “Soft matchmaking, haa. Since he’s met you two, my dad has been talking about it for a while.”
As she spoke, she gave a “hey” to Zhong Chengshuo.
“In fact, I heard you were embroiled in blowing up the dorms. My friends at A University were going crazy with rumors. Good job, Xiao Zhong.” She gave him a thumbs up.
Zhong Chengshuo responded with an “Nn” and stared at Dr. Sun quietly, unknown what he was thinking.
Officer Sun made two simple dishes and quickly returned to the dining room. Under the calm guidance of Dr. Sun, the topic quickly returned to business.
“Thanks to Xiao Yin and Xiao Zhong, we can further narrow the scope.”
Sun Qinghui waved his chopsticks excitedly.
“The Lu Yuanyuan case was three months ago. The murderer was skilled. We went through all the surveillance but couldn’t catch anyone, so a sloppy kidnapping case was ruled out. According to Lu Guangzu’s statement, the other victims may not be children.”
“The only unsolved missing child case in the last six months is Lu Yuanyuan. I thought we were looking in the wrong direction, but now it seems that the murderer’s criteria for selecting his target may have nothing to do with age.”
“Dad, I’m still here. Aren’t I considered an unrelated person? Isn’t it bad to talk like this?” Sun Qi’an whispered a reminder.
“Oh, I’m used to it… I was treating you as if you were your mother. When is she coming home again? Tomorrow?”
“The day after tomorrow,” Sun Qi’an said.
“My mother is a forensic scientist in the municipal bureau. She just went out for a conference these two days,” she explained in a low voice.
“Just send us a copy after the task force finishes sorting out the materials.” Zhong Chengshuo cut off the topic. “We’ll follow up to see if Shian needs to intervene further.”
Sun Qinghui’s cooking skills were average. The dishes tasted homey and made people feel comfortable. Under the scorching sight of the veteran criminal police, the young people reluctantly exchanged contact information.
Even with such an episode, Yin Ren and Zhong Chengshuo still arrived home on time.
Yin Ren didn’t immediately lie down on the sofa. He ordered a few vegetarian dishes for the elderly and silently served them to Lu Tanfei.
After meeting with Lu Guangzu, he also had some new clues, but unfortunately, it was inconvenient to talk about them at the table.
For example, Lu Guangzu, who was sitting in the interrogation room, seemed to be dead.
The author has something to say:
The 1,000-year-old Ghost King is self-reliant and makes beef sandwiches.
Unfortunately, he was caught by his partner and the number of sandwiches -1
It can be said that it’s a struggle for Xiao Zhong to maintain a normal 3-meals-a-day diet!
Just a note, but Lu Guangzu is not related to Lu Yuanyuan. They’re different Chinese characters.
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3 thoughts on “Evil As Humans Ch47”
Thank you for the update ❤️💯
Thanks for the chapter, as always >w<
OMG???? Thank you for the chapter!