Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong
Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/
Happy Doomsday: Mini Extra Collection
Note: These are mini extras that the author has written on her blog. It is not on jjwxc. She intermittently updates them, usually on Valentine’s Day and other holidays for her CPs. The translation will be updated when the author updates her blog. Below is a ton of dog food.
Tanabata, Tanabata, Everyone’s Outfit Special Edition~
[Large bright yellow T-shirt] The color is bright, giving a dazzling sense of existence. When someone is running around in it, it looks like a big happy bee.
[White half-pants] Also large, with an elastic waistband that is not tightened at all.
[Black slippers] Often appear on different floors. What is this all about?
※”Don’t run around with one foot bare,” Ruan Xian said.
[Gray lace-up long nightgown] Probably made from the most comfortable fabric in the world. It’s easy to untie. Repeating it again. It’s very easy to untie.
※”But you clearly walk around barefoot.” Tang Yibu was aggrieved. Maybe this was the benefit of a strong recovery system.
[Relatively low-key white T-shirt with jacket] The T-shirt is always clean, and there may be a deadly weapon hidden in the jacket?
[Sweatpants that can be seen everywhere] The drape is very good, and it stacks slightly at the ankles. It’s not eye-catching and convenient to move in to act anytime, anywhere.
[Wear-resistant sneakers] Designed by Professor Ruan himself, the materials have been specially strengthened so that they will not be worn out by vigorous movement.
※Ruan Xian specially added a lot of gold elements to the sneakers.
[Gray shirt] Not really special, but when someone wears it, it gives off an elite aura.
[White trousers] I don’t know how but the white trousers are always spotless.
[Casual leather shoes] The ankle lines are very beautiful.
※The two of them were clearly unrelated, but Tang Yibu felt the unique aura of the Institute uniform from it, making it impossible for him to look away.
Valentine’s Day Album, Inexplicable Nightmare Feature ✨
Tang Yibu had the ability to dream, but he wasn’t satisfied.
His dreams were more animal-like than human, and they weren’t too treacherous or bizarre—after all, there was limited time when making NUL-00, so Ruan Xian didn’t get the chance to elaborate on the ability to “dream”. Now they finally had time, so Tang Yibu gave himself a Valentine’s Day gift.
Usually, during the holidays, the two of them would keep the gifts they want to give strictly confidential. This time, Tang Yibu took the initiative to make the request, which surprised Ruan Xian.
“I can help you upgrade the programs related to ‘Dreamland’, but…”
“I understand that ‘human dreams are irrational and illogical’, while my dreams are relatively harmless. Upgrading might do more harm than good.” Tang Yibu sat straight, showing just the right amount of supplicating expression. “Mr. Ruan, I don’t want to become human. I just want to experience how you feel—so that I can get to know you better.”
Ruan Xian was always helpless against this type of behavior.
The night after the upgrade, Tang Yibu watched several horror movies with interest. He then took a hot bath for an hour, got into bed, hugged Ruan Xian tightly, and looked like he was going out on an adventure.
Ruan Xian: “…Some dreams may not be the same as you imagined.”
Tang Yibu looked serious. “Whether it’s a beautiful dream or a nightmare, I’m fully prepared.”
In the early hours of the morning, Ruan Xian was awakened by a loud noise. He turned on the night light and opened his eyes in a daze—Tang Yibu had rolled off the bed and was lying stiff as a wooden board on the ground. The iron bead that was sleeping nearby was startled and began circling around him. Tang Yibu didn’t respond to it and kept staring at the ceiling wwith a thoughtful expression on his face.
Ruan Xian yawned and stretched out a hand to him. “Well, ‘fully prepared’?”
Tang Yibu grabbed his hand and crawled back to bed.
“My understanding of ‘no logic’ isn’t thorough enough,” he hugged Ruan Xian tightly as he muttered bitterly. “It’s terrible.”
“What did you dream of?”
“Sweet potatoes all over the world had disappeared, and even its DNA couldn’t be recovered. You made a special appearance and gave a speech at the sweet potato’s funeral…”
“Actually, I plan to give you a brand-new modified car tomorrow.” Tang Yibu continued to grumble. “Do you like sweet potato yellow?”
Ruan Xian couldn’t hold back after that and laughed. “Yes.”
*Clarity: Remember, sweet potatoes is Tang Yibu’s favorite food that he mentioned way, way back in arc 1.
Spring Festival Special, Everyone’s Specialty Dishes♪
Once again, I wish you all a wonderful Year of the Tiger–! 🎉
~Ruan Xian’s Specialty~
Soft-boiled eggs: The coagulation degree is controlled quite brilliantly, so that even a machine can’t do it as accurately. It can be eaten with salt or hot sauce. The egg white is soft and smooth, and the yolk is mellow, so people can’t stop eating it. This is a fixed breakfast recipe that the two of them will eat four of every day.
Tang Yibu once said that he could eat ten a day, but Mr. Ruan rejected his request on the grounds of a “healthy diet”.
※”You used to secretly eat candy yourself!” Mr. Tang felt wronged for two seconds until his attention was drawn away by persimmons.
Scallion oil noodles: Scallion oil is mixed with smooth and tough fine noodles, and then served with a little shredded meat. Ruan Xian originally liked this dish very much. Since it has memories of the doomsday, the taste has a bit more special meaning.
※Tang Yibu’s taste is comparable to his own, but the android will always add more sugar.
~Tang Yibu’s specialty~
Bags of gummy candy: Heart-shaped gummy candy with various flavors. If you eat two together, there will be a wonderful change in taste. It is Ruan Xian’s favorite snack at work. Most of them have a variety of fresh fruit flavors, and occasionally the wonderful flavors of “baked sweet potato”, “persimmons”, or “soy milk”. Every time the two of them go out on a mission, Ruan Xian always carries a small bag.
※Ruan Xian is very satisfied because they can have kisses in various flavors.
Super Deluxe Hotdog: The recipe comes from the most popular hotdog shop. From bread to fillings, Tang Yibu completely reproduced this hotdog and added a lot of his favorite side dishes. Because he is not willing to give up any side dishes, the finished product is always too large.
※Half for one person, just right for dinner.
Halloween Extra 🎃
Tang Yibu and Ruan Xian had never missed Halloween.
In order to add some freshness, they refused to discuss dressing up in advance, so that the two of them would only know each other’s costumes before they set off. This year, Ruan Xian put on a wizard’s cloak and then waited at the door… for a black cat.
The black cat squatted at the doorway. Its fur was shiny and smooth, and its golden eyes gleamed happily. It had a warm orange collar around its neck with a tag that was engraved with [NUL-00-01].
“Mr. Ruan, I really like this perspective. I haven’t looked up at you for a long time.” The black cat circled Ruan Xian’s ankle as it spoke happily. “Can you hug me?”
“What a terrific costume.” Ruan Xian picked up the black cat and put it on his shoulder. The cat was soft to the touch, and its fur was warm.
Tang Yibu rubbed against Ruan Xian’s face. “Surprise, right? I’ve been developing it for a long time to make sure the nervous system is connected.”
Ruan Xian glanced at the living room. Tang Yibu’s body was lying on the sofa, looking like he was taking a nap. He smiled and shook his head while scratching the cat’s chin.
It didn’t take long for Ruan Xian to know Tang Yibu’s purpose…
In the darkness, the black cat jumped on the string of lights in a dignified manner and ran lightly, causing light to flash everywhere. These cheap lights could only be manipulated at close range. They obediently formed a torrent of lights, swirling together into a vortex of lights and shadows.
The “haunted” light path had obviously been carefully calculated. Amidst the burst of awe, Tang Yibu snuck back quietly and climbed onto Ruan Xian’s shoulder. The black cat said nothing and curled its tail high while making a face full of pride.
Unfortunately, after a few seconds, this pride changed. Without him, there were too many Halloween-limited foods on the street. Tang Yibu clenched his lover’s shoulders tightly, stretching out and retracting the tip of his claws, making Ruan Xian feel a little itchy.
“I haven’t perfected my sense of smell and taste,” Tang Yibu murmured in frustration.
“What about the sense of touch?”
“That’s enough.” Ruan Xian picked up the black cat and kissed it on the tip of its nose. He then pulled his cloak over his shoulders and held the cat in his arms.
He wrapped the other party up in his own heat, just like a long time ago.
How can you miss Tanabata! Write about everyone in the eyes of a passersby (?
@An agency investigator/male/35 years old
“Laozi can’t really do this surveillance job anymore. Yes, yes, I know those two boys are suspicious, but I have been monitoring them for three years. If they are really related to the ‘Red Ghost’, then they have to reveal something, right? But everything is airtight. If it weren’t for our technology, I suspect that they know they’re being followed.”
“While I’m chasing after people’s asses as they run around, they’re having a good time, while my wife is having a cold war with me. What? Travel at the company’s expense? Fuck no! Those young people are traveling up mountains and across rivers while I’m fucking worried nearby for fear of accidentally losing them. Don’t you know? Those two would travel all over the world every day. God knows which country they would go to all of a sudden.”
“If you want me to tell you they have a fixed itinerary, they really don’t. Not to mention, I have studied for two years and found a route—once they arrive at a specific date, they will transfer to several cities in the country, then go to foreign cities on the corresponding dates. The cities on this route have been increasing, but the pattern is the same.”
“Breakthrough? Ha, I was so excited at the time, I specially adjusted the most advanced AI to analyze it. The AI spent all its energy and came up with a conclusion for me that day.”
“They go around the world leisurely in date order to spend Valentine’s Day everywhere!!!”
“No, it’s not the internationally common one. It’s a traditional festival unique to various places. The whole thing was so outrageous that I was scolded badly by my boss. Anyway, at the end of the year, I said I’m applying for a transfer. Otherwise, if I have to spend my holiday following people all year round, it’ll be over when I get home… Don’t persuade laozi. No matter how much money you’re offering, I won’t do it! Not doing it!”
“Wait, there’s another information access prompt. Let me see…”
“…Fuck, those two boys are searching for a holiday hotel again!”
Simple and trivial daily life, everyone’s schedule ♪
~Ruan Xian’s Schedule~
08:00-09:00 Checked π’s physical condition, prepared breakfast, and then had a meal with his lover.
09:00-12:00 Hugged Tang Yibu while reading a book. At 12:00 sharp, Tang Yibu would break free and randomly choose a chef’s set meal to make.
12:00-16:00 The two analyzed intelligence and anomalies together and selected the criminals to deal with.
16:00-20:00 Hunting criminals with Tang Yibu. He passed by a small shop with good reviews and stopped in for dinner. Tang Yibu liked the stir-fried pork in the shop very much. Ruan Xian silently wrote down the taste and decided to go back and analyze the recipe with him.
20:00-00:00 The two of them didn’t wash their bloody clothes. They went directly to the kitchen to try the dishes as soon as possible. It took three tries for them to finally crack the recipe. Tang Yibu was quite happy and memorized it carefully in his mind. The two of them cleaned off their bloodstains, which took more than three hours.
~Tang Yibu’s Schedule~
08:00-09:00 While eating breakfast, he would make some investments and accumulate wealth.
09:00-12:00 Was hugged by Ruan Xian while he browsed for the latest information, and at the same time had to complete the important matter of “deciding the content of lunch”. It was really the most relaxing and hardest (?) part of the day.
12:00-16:00 Selected which criminals to deal with. After deciding on the list, Tang Yibu would throw a die in his head and choose one of them.
16:00-20:00 Hunting criminals with Ruan Xian. Ruan Xian paid attention to a small restaurant nearby. The taste of the stir-fried pork was amazing. Tang Yibu added three bowls of rice. The bloodstains on his cuffs were almost seen by the shopkeeper.
20:00-00:00 Ruan Xian specially wrote down the taste of the stir-fried pork. The two of them squeezed in front of the wok, concentrating on trying to replicate the recipe. After being full food and drink, Tang Yibu decided to be “full of food and drink” again. Not to mention the pleasure of physical entanglement, he loved the touch and heat of Ruan Xian’s very much, so he would always be uneasy if he didn’t touch it for a few hours.
“The chili they use is not good enough. I want to eat a more fragrant taste.”
“Okay. Yibu, if you don’t go out tomorrow, let’s change the chili together.”
Valentine’s Day Chocolate Special 🍫
[New chocolate set (?) by famous chef x 1]
Purchaser(?): Ruan Xian
Tang Yibu’s second favorite chef launched a new creation, and a certain Mr. Ruan quickly ordered a set.
The chocoate was mixed with a cherry filling, made by Ruan Xian himself. Tang Yibu ate it in one bite.
His favorite chef would always be his Mr. Ruan.
[Chocolate printed NUL-00 model × 1]
Producer: Tang Yibu
A 1:1 size NUL-00 model made strictly according to the size, made of pure chocolate with no added sugar or milk.
After Ruan Xian picked up the fork, Tang Yibu suddenly felt that something was wrong, and his expression changed from triumph to horror. Ruan Xian laughed for a long time and finally made a fresh-preservation container to keep the chocolate version of NUL-00 forever.
As compensation, Tang Yibu gave half the chocolate made by the chef to his lover.
No holiday, but I wrote a special episode that I thought of. Sleeping together. _(:D”∠)_
One thunderstorm night, Ruan Xian was awakened by the sound of thunder outside the window. He frowned and rolled over. The tip of his nose almost hit a pair of feet.
The feet were white and clean, the soles were against the head of the bed, and the pillow was kicked aside. Ruan Xian propped himself up and found Tang Yibu’s head at the end of the bed—he had turned 180° by himself. His head and feet had swapped places while he slept soundly. God knew how this happened.
When the two first met, this guy slept better than anyone else, but now he was showing his true colors. Ruan Xian sighed, put Tang Yibu’s pillow back under his head, and pulled the blanket again.
As a result, Ruan Xian had just planned to lie back, when the tugging of his pajamas suddenly increased. He touched the corner of his clothes and found a warm hand—Tang Yibu was still sleeping soundly, but his right hand was clenched to the corner of Ruan Xian’s pajamas tightly, with red marks on his fingers from clenching for too long.
Ruan Xian was silent for a moment, then he moved his pillow to the end of the bed and lay down. Tang Yibu smacked his lips, abandoned the pillow again, and buried himself into Ruan Xian’s neck, still without letting go of his grip.
‘I have to buy looser pajamas tomorrow,’ Ruan Xian thought silently.
Late Tanabata Extra, Pet Special☆
In the early morning, Ruan Xian was awakened by a loud banging noise. He walked downstairs and quickly found Tang Yibu covered in jam.
“π overturned the oil can last night, and the cleaning robot didn’t clean it up. I didn’t pay attention and slipped.” Tang Yibu was laying on the ground sadly with a bottle of jam overturned on his body. He didn’t seem to have any plans for getting up. “I just wanted to make some toast and jam—”
“π, come here.” Ruan Xian cleared his throat.
Unlike before, the iron bead remained motionless. Ruan Xian raised his eyebrows and glanced at Tang Yibu on the ground.
“It ate the cleaning robot again.” Tang Yibu licked the jam off his finger.
“That’s the third one. π, come here. I know you’re under the sofa.”
Ten seconds later, the iron bead stretched out its thin legs and tremblingly moved closer. “Gwah gwah…”
“To it, those things look like pies running on the ground,” Tang Yibu translated. “The core of the cleaning robot is warm, and its shell is crispy, so it’s very delicious… I can also relate. I just dreamed of toast and jam…”
“Gwah! Gwah gwah gwah gwah!”
“It asks why I can steal jam at 5 AM but it can’t steal the cleaning robot at 3 AM.” Tang Yibu finished translating and fell into contemplation, as if he were completely overwhelmed by this question.
“It’s okay if you don’t answer. You can get up from the ground first.” Ruan Xian was dumbfounded. He pulled Tang Yibu up by the wrist. The latter was so heavy that it made Ruan Xian’s center of gravity unstable, and he fell on Tang Yibu, failing to escape the fate of being covered with jam.
“Mr. Ruan, I think it should be given a reasonable prey.” Tang Yibu took advantage of the situation to circle Ruan Xian’s waist. “Like I could prey on jam bread.”
“…Your predation isn’t very successful.” Ruan Xian wiped the jam from his face and didn’t even try to get up again. Well, I’ll think of a way.”
A few days later, late at night, in a flash of cold light, a round body caught up with the cleaning robot and devoured it. It crunched on its abdomen. After the meal, the iron bead belched contentedly, got into its own exclusive car—a modified cleaning robot with a bowl-shaped seat—and began to patrol all directions.
Naturally they could afford to buy a cleaning robot every day, Ruan Xian thought, upstairs, as he adjusted his posture in Tang Yibu’s arms.
After the pleasant “race” with the iron bead, the two of them spent a few hours cleaning up. Of course, those were all afterthoughts.
Bathroom Special (.･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
Tang Yibu missed the weekly inspection more than ten years ago.
The coolant in NUL-00 was replaced once a week. When replacing, Ruan Xian would take out its small cybernetic brain, dry the residual liquid with warm air, and then wipe it carefully with a special soft cloth. When the cybernetic brain was dry, Mr. Ruan would patiently check every inch of the surface.
At that time, Tang Yibu had no real sense of touch, but he could still perceive temperature and humidity from his shell. Being treated carefully by Mr. Ruan, he always had a wonderful sense of satisfaction.
It was a pity that more than ten years later, his head was bigger than Ruan Xian, and it was impossible to be held in the palm of his hand and blown dry. Tang Yibu thought deeply for a moment, and set up a large dryer for himself, just big enough for one person to stand inside.
The dryer was warm and dry. Tang Yibu was quite satisfied and planned to try it out after taking a shower.
After taking a shower on the first day, he kissed Ruan Xian on the neck, and the two went straight to the bedroom. After taking a shower the next day, Ruan Xian squeezed his lips, and the two stumbled back into the bedroom. Day three…
A week later, Ruan Xian found that there was a new piece of equipment in the kitchen, which was full of his favorite sausages and bacon.
“The dryer,” Tang Yibu explained. “Mr. Ruan, do you still want to eat dried meats? I’ll bake it together.”
Tang Yibu thought it was fine if he didn’t need it.
After all, Ruan Xian’s body temperature was better.
Valentine’s Day for everyone ❤
It was Valentine’s Day in the computer room more than ten years ago. NUL-00 projected the entire room in pink.
“In this festival, humans seem to be particularly eager for companionship,” it said confidently. “Since you have no one to accompany you, I can accompany you. Do you like this kind of holiday decoration?”
Ruan Xian didn’t want to correct its strange cognition. “I like it.”
More than ten years later, Valentine’s Day. Ruan Xian found that the walls of their home were all painted pink by Tang Yibu.
“I like it very much,” Ruan Xian said. This time, he was serious.
They kept the paint like this until the next Valentine’s Day.