Happy Doomsday Ch122

Author: 年终 / Nian Zhong

Translator: Kinky || https://kinkytranslations.com/

Chapter 122: 5 A.M.

The android was wearing a white staff coat and stood in the spotless corridor that was so clean it felt unreal. Ruan Xian stretched out his hand again in a daze, but this time the target wasn’t Tang Yibu’s hair, but the other party’s lips.

With a warm and soft touch, his fingertips could feel the other’s warm breath.

So human-like in appearance, but on the inside was something entirely different. Even with the most intimate relationship, the reaction of the other party couldn’t be inferred from human thinking habits. Tang Yibu wasn’t much different from the past, except the curiosity in his eyes was a bit stronger. His degree of calmness hadn’t changed.

And he was stripped of all the characteristics of a “normal person”, including the darkness and madness he had shown unscrupulously in front of the other party. In the eyes of the creature in front of him, it wasn’t as good as “he may leave”, which was worth worrying about.

[I haven’t been able to find anything in you that I don’t like.] The current conclusion of the android was that.

For such a brief moment, Ruan Xian suddenly understood the feelings of those fire-loving moths, but after that moment passed, reason was crushed down again. Inexplicably, relaxation was mixed with vigilance and a little joy, finally all combined into a sour taste.

Seeing that Ruan Xian hadn’t responded for a long time, Tang Yibu opened his mouth slightly in confusion and bit Ruan Xian’s fingertips lightly.

“Let me reassure you.” Ruan Xian pressed Tang Yibu’s lower lip. “When will you be back?”

“Around 3 or 4 in the morning.”

“Okay, then let’s have a date at 5.” Ruan Xian finally retracted his hand and patted off a piece of hair on the other party’s shoulder. “Don’t be late.”

Tang Yibu grabbed Ruan Xian’s hand with his backhand and bit hard with his sharp teeth, piercing the skin on the fingertip. A little blood oozed out. Before it could be reabsorbed by the skin, Tang Yibu had already sucked it up.

“But you don’t really want to go on a date with me.” There was still the sweetness of the snack on the other party’s finger, which Tang Yibu licked lightly with the tip of his tongue. “Your hormone levels aren’t elevated at all, and you don’t show enough concentration and infatuation.”

“I’m not proficient in this business. Forgive me.” Ruan Xian wanted to laugh again. “After all, I’m ‘relatively slow’.”

“I accept.” Tang Yibu let go of Ruan Xian’s wrist. He couldn’t calculate another solution at this moment. Whether this proposal was sincere or fake, there was nothing to lose by going along with it.

Tang Yibu thought seriously about it having never dated a creature before.

Given that this was the first time he had ever had such a strong interest in a living thing, this was completely uncharted territory. Coupled with the possible identity of the other party, Tang Yibu found that he was uncomfortably nervous—in every sense of the word—and he didn’t want to fail.

“I will definitely come to meet you at 5 tomorrow morning,” Tang Yibu added after thinking for a few seconds.

The middle of the city.

Yu Le slept for a few hours, barely regaining some strength. He squinted his eyes at the sunny sky outside the window. It looked as if it was 1 or 2 in the afternoon.

After copying a disgusting book all night, in order to save money, the only food left was raspberry ice cream. The former great ruins pirate lay on the floor in a daze, suddenly feeling that his life was surreal.

A little smell came from the simple kitchen of the small apartment. Yu Le twitched his nose and finally got up from the floor.

“I bought some salt and eggs, plus a loaf of bread.” Ji Xiaoman moved the spatula carefully. “It didn’t cost much. The oil was a bit expensive, so I didn’t buy it… The taste should be almost the same, so make do with it.”

The little girl thought of something, then dug a square hole in the middle of the bread slices and poured the eggs into it before frying them up.

“How mischievous,” Yu Le muttered, and yawned loudly while operating the light screen.

“I didn’t want to hack your citizen account, but you were sleeping just now, and the account could only be operated by you—”

“I don’t mean this.” Yu Le waved his hand impatiently, scratching the stubble on his chin. “How old are you, 19, 20? It’s not easy to have good conditions. Young people should eat something good. After passing this area, there won’t be such a shop. Didn’t I also drink beer? It’s not bad to splurge.”

Before Ji Xiaoman’s slices of bread were toasted, a drone delivered his order. Yu Le washed his hands, cut up the tomatoes and threw pats of butter into the pan.

The aroma in the air suddenly became several times stronger.

“What are you looking at? When laozi started cooking, you probably wasn’t even born yet.” Seeing Ji Xiaoman watching him intently as he cut tomatoes, Yu Le gestured with the knife.

Lunch changed from a simple dry egg in a basket to a hearty sandwich. Yu Le also bought some chicken. He paused for a moment before he sandwiched the chicken in between the bread slices.

“What’s the matter?” Ji Xiaoman didn’t let go of the momentary blankness on the other party’s face.

“No, I just remembered something from the past.” Yu Le smiled a little stiffly. “That’s how I prepared breakfast for my sister when I was in my teens.”

There was a cafeteria in the prison, and being a pirate, he wasn’t particular about things. It had been a long time since he’d cooked a meal for two.

“Eat yours. Only when you’re full will you have the strength to fool people.” Seeing Ji Xiaoman’s expression of wanting to hear more details, Yu Le curled his lips. “Eat more meat. You look like a pole that I can’t even tell if you’re a girl or boy from afar—”

Ji Xiaoman frowned, sat back at the table with murderous intent, and bit into the chicken as if it was an enemy.

“Hey, do you want egg custard? God knows how long we can stay here. Better not have any regrets.”

“…” Ji Xiaoman pretended not to hear.

“Ouch, really ignoring me?” Yu Le smiled and shook his head, grabbing the remaining eggs with his hands. “You don’t want it? I’m good at making them. Don’t ask me to do it later—”

“Really?” A serious voice joined the conversation.

Yu Le almost dropped the egg in his hand.

Tang Yibu stood at the door and looked solemnly at Yu Le’s hand holding the egg. “Then you can give me her share.”

“No.” Ji Xiaoman objected almost immediately.

“Add more water. It’ll be enough for three servings.” Yu Le put down the egg in his hand and began to prepare the custard. “Why are you out? Where’s Xiao Ruan?”

“He’s fine. There’s something we need Miss Ji’s help.” Tang Yibu got straight the point. He closed the door and sat at the dining table very consciously.

“Go ahead.” Ji Xiaoman vigilantly guarded the food in front of her as her voice hitched a little.

“Mr. Ruan had gathered something from Luo Jian. There’s an organization called ‘Pear Blossom’ in the city, and they have Ruan Xian’s diary in their hands.” Tang Yibu clasped his fingers and placed them on the table. “I hope you two can help me investigate—”

“Oh, that.” Yu Le was beating the egg mixture. “You happened to investigate and stumble upon Ruan Xian’s diary? What bullshit. I thought you would only get some normal information.”

“Ruan Xian was really here?” Ji Xiaoman stopped chewing and swallowed the food in her mouth hard.

“It seems so at the moment.” Tang Yibu carefully chose his words.

“We just checked casually when we saw Pear Blossom promoting the idea of the end of the world. We became interested and bumped into Luo Jian’s son.” Seeing that Yu Le was still busy preparing food, Ji Xiaoman took over the conversation. “He made Lao Yu a memory cocktail that provided an ordinary memory…”

“It’s called ‘Ford’s Ordinary Life’,” Yu Le interjected.

“I have confirmed that, at least in the database of this city, that Luo Fei’s father is indeed the Luo Jian we’re looking for.” Ji Xiaoman freed up a hand and drew it twice on the light screen. “The specific information has been sent to you.”

Tang Yibu tightened his fingers slightly. “Good.”

“In short, that’s it. We’ve already made contact with Luo Fei and are preparing to go further.” Ji Xiaoman took a sip of milk. “The Mainbrain currently has no intention of eradicating this organization. I don’t think a little contact will cause it to become alert.”

“The Mainbrain may be more dangerous than you think. It’s unwise to make reckless contact.”

“Come on, you’re not the boss of us.” Yu Le steamed the custard. “In such a big place, we can’t squat in a room and eat and wait to death while you play your blockbuster in that madhouse. Why does the Mainbrain acquiesce to the existence of Pear Blossom? Aren’t you curious? Besides, it’s much more reliable to get good stuff from a large civic organization rather than from the Mainbrain—”

Ji Xiaoman and Tang Yibu looked at Yu Le together.

“—Of course this is not the point.” Yu Le wisely stopped talking.

“For the next half day, I will act with you.” Tang Yibu didn’t dwell on this subject for too long. “Now that you guys have cast the line, you should have a strategy for the next step of contact, right?”

Ji Xiaoman got up and handed Tang Yibu the booklet pressed under the cushion. “…Nomination certificate. It’s not pressed yet, so be gentle with it.”

Tang Yibu took the “King of Killers” and quickly flipped through it.

“In fact, the name is ‘The Forbidden Wife of the King of Killers’. Lao Yu refused to write this for the cover, so we went with this,” Ji Xiaoman explained. “As far as we’re concerned, Luo Fei advocates cultural liberation. I think this should reduce his suspicion.”

“That’s a path.” Tang Yibu quickly scanned the book with a calm expression. “But the content level is not enough.”

“Right!” Yu Le pulled his voice. “Laozi had to fucking copy this. The guy who wrote this thing is probably a virgin.”

“There are no typos in it. How much chemicals do you have left to erase ink?” Tang Yibu put the book in front of him.

“There is still a lot left. Lao Yu’s head is better than I thought… What are you going to do?” Ji Xiaoman pointed to the bottle in the corner.

“Improve quality and increase the success rate.”

“Yo, I can’t see it. Xiao Tang, you have two brushes*. I thought androids didn’t have needs in this regard.” Yu Le prepared the custard as he took off his apron. “Eat, eat. Be careful not to burn your mouth.”

*(两把刷子) Idiom used to describe someone capable of doing things. || In this context, he’s basically saying “Oh, Tang Yibu, I didn’t know you were capable (in regard to writing smut) considering you’re an android (which don’t engage in sex or have need for it).”

Tang Yibu took a bite of the custard, slowly raised his head and looked at Yu Le.

“…What are you looking at me for?” Yu Le was a little perturbed. “Hey, I didn’t mean to say you couldn’t do it just now. Don’t misunderstand.”

“It’s very delicious,” Tang Yibu commented.

Yu Le breathed a sigh of relief.

“You are also a very valuable person to me,” Tang Yibu muttered in a low voice. “I don’t dislike you. In fact, I’m even a little interested in your character, but…”

“But?” Yu Le was a little confused about the strange direction this topic was heading towards.

“I have no sexual urges for you at all.” Tang Yibu bit the spoon, looking a little confused.

“Fuck, if I’ve known that I could fuck you, I would’ve blown your brains out*.” Yu Le clenched the handle of the frying pan on one side and gestured towards Tang Yibu’s head twice. “Fuck you. Shit, laozi is straight!”

*Figuratively, as in blow your mind.

“Stop talking.” Seeing Tang Yibu turning to her, Ji Xiaoman vigilantly raised her prosthetic leg that had a crossbow embedded in it. The arrow was ready to fire at any moment. “Not a word. I don’t want to know anything.”

“I believe that what’s in this guy’s head isn’t a human brain.” Yu Le rolled his eyes. “If this is an actual person, it’s a fucking miracle he hasn’t been killed yet.”

Seeing that the atmosphere was wrong, Tang Yibu quickly swallowed the custard and wisely remained silent.

“Oh come on. It’s not like I’ll deny you food. Is laozi that petty?” Yu Le waved his hand weakly. “So why did you suddenly say these things? Did you want to draw inspiration from materials or something? If you really want some, I can provide some personal experience.”

“No, thank you. I have read a lot of information in this area and have experienced it firsthand.”

Seeing that Yu Le didn’t mean to take away his egg custard, Tang Yibu finally resumed his normal eating speed.

“It’s just a little personal confusion.”

“What? Is there someone else in that madhouse that you want to sleep with?” Yu Le casually joked.

A regular companion android would have a program that strengthened their human emotions. No matter how perfect their performance was, the underlying algorithm was the same, so it wasn’t much different from the advanced machinery from the Mainbrain. Relying on the gray practice of storing human personality data in the Underground City, the product barely had “emotions”. However, looking at Tang Yibu’s terrifying combat ability and indescribable character, it was obvious that the two weren’t related.

Even if Yu Le hadn’t studied bionics deeply, he had heard a little relevant knowledge. Active sexual arousal was a very complex and useless procedure. In order to ensure the user’s experience, even the companion machine before the end of the world also needed exact instructions to trigger relevant behavior.

Designing something like this specifically for a combat android was about the equivalent of lighting erotic candles for a nuclear warhead. Absolutely no one would do this.

“Nn.” However, Tang Yibu answered very seriously.

He ignored Yu Le’s complicated expression, ate the custard carefully, opened the handwritten book, and picked up the eraser fluid and pen that Ji Xiaoman kicked over. “Oh, also, I will leave before 4 AM.”

“…No, wait…”

“I don’t want to delay my date with Mr. Ruan.”


The author has something to say:

Today’s victim, straight man Lao Yu (…)

Tang Yibu: Although I don’t know what the truth is, I will tie this Mr. Ruan to my side first.jpg

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